Confidence, one of the hardest things to build yet, one of the most important things to have. Having confidence and believing in yourself helps with just about everything in life. Having confidence in yourself will help you achieve all of your goals in life. If you don’t have confidence everything will just be that much harder. Now, I don’t think I am the most confident person out there, but I am way more confident than I used to be. I still struggle with being confident in certain situations, but I can definitely say I am climbing the confidence ladder. Learning how to build that confidence in yourself is really tough, trust me I am 30 and still working on it. Some it of comes with age I think, I think as you get older you begin to… don’t mind my language but “give less fucks” as most people would say. So let us talk about building confidence.
Some of the things that helps me with building confidence……
Most things that involve building confidence has alot to do with training your mind.
Reading self-help books has always been a huge motivator for me. Reading is great for your mind in general. Taking the time to read about the things you know you need in life can help you get through anything. Anytime I am struggling with something, like people or work, or even my own confidence I read. I find a good book and spend time learning about it. Any step you can take to better yourself is a step in the right direction. Listening to a positive podcast or reading a really empowering quote sometimes can help make you feel like you can do anything. Keeping your mind right is always a little easier when you’re feeding it full of mindful information. I have a pretty big round-up of books, blogs, quotes, and podcasts I try to incorporate into my life weekly if not daily. Here are some of my favorites.
- The Book: You are a badass by Jen Sincero
- Video: Law of Attraction Coaching – Youtube
- The Podcast: Manifestation Babe – Spotify
And of course my favorite quote,
If you can dream it you can do it
– Walt Disney
Think Positive thoughts – I read a story once that I fell in love with. The story was about an old Cherokee Indian speaking to his grandson. The Indian says, “My son there is a battle between two wolves inside us all. One is evil. It is anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, inferiority, lies, and ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy, and truth” the boy thought about it and asked, “Grandfather, which wolf wins?”, and he replied, “the one you feed”.
That is one of my all-time favorite bits of insight that I have ever read. I think about it all the time and I feel like it can play into almost any situation. So basically, the better you think, and speak of yourself the better you will feel about yourself. If you constantly beat yourself down, tell yourself you’re ugly, stupid, or you can’t do something, more than likely you will continue to feel that way. Don’t feed the negative wolf. Feed the positive one, remind yourself you’re a champion, look yourself in the mirror, and say good morning you sexy bitch what are we going to conquer today. You can do anything you put your mind to, so put your mind to it. Positivity rules the world, at least it rules mine and I’m pretty happy. Plus the more positive you are towards yourself the easier building confidence in yourself is.
Learn to not care what anyone thinks about you – Do you ever remeber what it was like to be a little kid? Children don’t care what anyone thinks of them. I remember when I was younger I was picked on for being weird, but I never cared at all. It never bothered me until I got older. I was a wild child that was super outgoing, talked to anyone, and always enjoyed life, until about middle school. Around middle school, something happened, I joined sports and tried to fit in. I also started puberty and suddenly I cared about all the kids that made fun of me.
Learning not to care what people think of you, or worry about how you look in public is a hard thing to change. This is something I am still working on. Remind yourself that you should never be embarassed to be unapologeticly you. Wear what you want to wear, and don’t be afraid to talk to anyone. Whats the worst thing that can happen? People are going to talk no matter what, especially if they are intimidated by you. So who cares.
Remind yourself that you can do anything you put your mind to – Ever since most of us are little we can remember our parents telling us that we can do anything that we put our mind to. Well, they were right. They were on to something. So many times growing up I can remember my mom said I was always doing things that most kids my age wouldn’t do. When I asked her why I did them, she always said, “You were stubborn, and if you wanted to do it you were damn well going to try whether you failed or not”. Somewhere along the lines as you get older I think fears and overthinking set in and it slows us down a lot. My mom told me at 3 I climbed up the side of an old barn up into the hayloft, without a single fear of falling.. Like what? I think about climbing trees now and I get nervous. Hell, I get nervous for an interview for a new job… why? who cares.. fear should be the last thing on our mind for most things, especially if it’s something we are going to do to better ourselves. Some people are afraid to get a better job, but not afraid to drive drunk after a night at the bar. Make that make sense.. not afraid to potentially hurt myself, someone else or get into trouble but scared to quit a job and get a better one? Wtf. WE CAN DO ANYTHING. You just have to tell yourself that you can.
There are certain physical things you can do for yourself that will help you build confidence aswell.
Try to create and accomplish goals – Creating goals for yourself I believe is really important. Accomplishing a goal is a huge helper in building confidence. When goals are accomplished it makes you want to create more goals. It makes you feel like you can do so much more. I have many friends that go to work every day, come home, and do nothing. They go out to the bar or watch tv, do tedious things like clean or whatever. None of them have any goals or hobbies. Nothing they want to get better at, which blows my mind. Me? I have so many goals and hobbies. There is so much I want to do. I want to work out, go to horse shows, and work on this blog. I also want to read some books, go on adventures, save money, the list goes on and on. Life would be so boring if I didn’t have a list full of goals to accomplish… When you accomplish a goal big or small it makes you feel great. Feeling accomplished can really help you feel better about yourself. Here are a few basic goals that anyone can benefit from.
- Get in shape, take care of your body, lose weight, tone up
- create a side hustle, firgure out how to work from home
- Read, read as many books as you can
- Learn about something new, health, money, playing golf, anything
- eat healthier, become a better cook
Exercise – No matter what I always stress exercising, I know I know. Trust me I stress it to myself daily. It’s one thing I don’t particularly enjoy. Sometimes the idea of getting up and going to the gym is an aweful thought. Thankfully there are many ways to get in exercise. You can go for a walk, go ride a bike, hit up a good hike in the woods or even go swimming. Being physical is one of the best things for you, working out literally releases endorphins in your brain. It helps improve memory, focus and prevents depression. Plus it gives you something to be proud of yourself for doing it. Think about it is there anyone you know that works out and doesn’t talk about working out. Well thats probably becasue they are proud of themselves, as they should be. So not only will working out help with building your confidence by giving you something to be proud of, but it will also help you get your mind and body feeling better.
In the end, I believe it all boils down to your mindset. Learning how to control your mind and change your outlook on yourself. To do that you must take care of your mind, feed it good foods, good information, positive thoughts, and to exercise.